Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Thanksgiving 2010

Timi's How To
Not Ever Host Thanksgiving Dinner 

Yes I'm 29- 39ish and I still don't cook one stinkin thing for Thanksgiving!

It's not because I don't know how or because I don't want to.  It's because my family revoked my holiday hosting privileges many years ago.

Back in the early 90's I worked for a company in downtown Seattle.  I loved working for this company. They are now out of business so the name isn't important, but this was one of the best jobs I ever had.  I worked with really great people, met some friends who I'm still close to, and I got to travel for the first time with this company. 
This is also when I got bit by the travel bug.

We were a young group at this company. Most of us were single, no kids, and barely makin it on our own.  This company also liked to recruit employees from all over the country and send them to towns where they had no family or friends. 

Well Timi decided that she would host Thanksgiving at her little 2 bedroom apartment for 9 of her orphan coworkers, parents and brother.
Super excited! 
Went shopping days before, got my big 20+ lbs. turkey in the fridge defrosting, special cocktail recipes found, spent days cleaning, decorating and making things beautiful for hosting my first Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving came and I got up at O'dark:30 in the morning to get started! 
Just like my Grandmothers always did... and my mother.  Dinner would be served at 2 and guests would start arriving about noon.  Cocktails, apps, and football was on the agenda before dinner.

When I went to get my turkey out of the fridge it was FROZEN SOLID!  That sucker had been in there for 4 days and not done a damn thing to help me prepare for my big day! 

I panicked! 

What to do? What to do?

So I filled the sink up with warm water and let it sit, with warm water running on it.  There I sat on a stool staring at a frozen turkey freaking out trying to figure out what to do. 

Finally after a couple hours I got that ole' bird to a point where I could at least try to attempt to get the guts out of it. 

I fished around in there, got the flashlight out and looked in there, and could not for the life of me find them.   What's a girl to do?
I needed to get this bird in the oven!

Totally stressed out!

Call Grandma!  
I called my Grandmother to find out where else they may have hid the guts.  After she gave me some pointers on how to get that turkey more thawed out I was able to find the frozen solid packet of giblets stuck up inside of that bird.

Time to get that bird in the oven! 

So I prepared it and in the oven it went.

Now to get the other items prepared.

Next up............. The sangria! 

It was important that this be made early so it could sit for a while and all the flavors could marry together.  Because I was 20 something the booze was always important.

Here's the recipe.
This seriously is one of the best sangria recipe ever!

Timi's Sangria Recipe

2 16 oz bottles of Cabernet Wine ( I have always used St. Michele cab)

1/4 bottle of Dubonnet I leave this out most of the time; it’s not something always on hand.

3 oz Brandy

3 oz Peach Schnapps

6 oz Triple Sec

Sugar to taste about 4 Tablespoons
Simple Syrup works better because the sugar doesn’t always dissolve.

32 oz Orange Juice (1 Quart)

I use the Orange Pineapple Juice concentrate mix when I can find it or the carton in the refrigerator section. It works really well.

6 oz Pineapple Juice
Mix and garnish with

Lime Slices

Orange Slices

This makes a lot and you will need a pretty good size bucket to mix it in. All amounts are approximates. You will want to taste as you mix. Always taste before you serve it. Especially if it’s been sitting for a day or so. The flavor changes a lot.

This keeps for about a week and it’s always better the second or 3rd day. I suggest mixing before hand and let set over night at a minimum.

So I'm mixin, a tastin, a mixin, a tastin and trying to get this recipe just right.  While doing this I was multi-tasking and trying to get everything else ready too.

Well then BAM!
Out of  no where it hit!
 I was drunker than a skunk!

My guests started showing up and I was H A M M E R E D!

images from Apron Goddesses

Things went a bit downhill from there. 
Ok,  a lot downhill!

Thank GOD for Mom's. 
My Mom showed up, didn't pass judgment and stepped right in and got dinner going. 

She wasn't frazzled at all by the drunk daughter and the husband (my Dad) telling her "I told you, she should have just done BBQ Hamburgers!"

2 pm.............The turkey................. NOT DONE! 
It took that mostly frozen bird about 2 hours longer to cook than planned and Mom getting dinner ready by herself took a little longer.

Mom saved the day!

This would be a Thanksgiving that guests were spared the disappointment of no dinner and chewing off their arms from starvation.

It's been almost 20 years and I have never been asked to host Thanksgiving dinner

When I suggest that I might like to do it
I'm given the "look"

Yes the look of
"no I don't think so"

Then I'm quickly reminded of "that Thanksgiving"

I called my mom the other day to see what I could bring on Thursday

This was her response;
"oh I think I got everything, why don't you just bring a banana for the fruit salad"

Now none of this was planned out... it was just an unfortunate sangria accident, but now that I'm older and not so ambitious...........
It's worked out pretty well.

That my friends is how you get out of all work involved with the holidays.
It just takes one incident of drunken irresponsibility and you are off the hook for years!

Have a wonderful day and take a moment to be Thankful for all the good in your life.

I'm thankful I accidentally got drunk 20 years ago!

I'll be enjoying a day of lounging in my eatin pants.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Jennifer said...

Now that is how you do it....Thanks for sharing! Made me smile. Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Junebug Furniture and Design said...

Timi! You make us smile!

Happy Thanksgiving My Friend!

XO Glad & Celia

Anonymous said...

I was crying with laughter while reading your hosting experience. I will be hosting my first Thanksgiving so I will be sure to go easy on the cocktails! I better go and start thawing that bird now! Have a Happy Thanksgiving!!!

{Bellamere Cottage} said...

Hilarious Timi! :-) It sure has served you well all these years though! I have one daughter.....has NEVER done a holiday dinner of any sort.... just sort of looks pathetic and THIS mom does it all.....even on crutches several years ago. She's nearly forty now so I'm not holding out a lot of hope that she'll be kicking in any time soon.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!


PS...........it is sooooooooooo icy here...... how are you doing weather-wise?

Andy's Attic said...

Hilarious!! I can picture it all. You clever girl. My friends and family know I don't cook so they ask me to bring the bread or something. Happy Thanksgiving,

Farmgirl Gourmet said...

You make me smile! You can come over to my house in your "eatin pants" anytime. :)

Love you girlie!

Linda said...

Now I am very proud. Here I thought the cats had to lounge on the dinner table and let the dog lick the serving spoons!!!

Donna Pizzi said...

You can come to our house this Thanksgiving. I love doing all that STUFF... But, seriously, your story is hilarious, and mirrors EXACTLY what happened to an editor we know well. She was doing a Thanksgiving shoot and the homeowner was cooking the turkey in the kitchen and wouldn't let them enter. Apparently, like you, was downing booze to help her nervousness... She kept coming out, looking drunker and drunker. Then, suddenly, the smell of fire came beneath the kitchen door! The turkey had caught fire!!! Not sure what they did to "save that shoot day!" but it's a story Barbara Jacksier (20 year veteran of magazine editing, author of "Waterside Cottages,") loves to tell! Happy Jammy Thanksgiving!

SeaWorthy said...

Perfect Timi story...!

I have never cooked a turkey myself, either..my mother and father are waaaaay too possesive of their cherished bird to ever let that one go. THANK GAWD!

Thanksgiving is our very favorite holiday, not is it the weekend of our anniversary, but theres no gifts to give or exchange just lots of good food and dont ever forget the drink..
have the best turkey day ever, and I love stormys look. Tell your parents hey from me!

Anonymous said...

That was hilarious! I completely relate to you about frozen turkey. Total panic mode! I could have used a few drinks myself. Oh and I will never forget preparing turkey with my mother as a young girl. When we pulled the neck out...it was such an ackward moment between mother and daughter. We just busted out in laughter. I personally think it's much better being a guest. :)


Cindy said...

Oh, that is a funny story. I thought those things only happened to Lucy Ricardo!

The Smith Hotel said...

So smart! I'm hanging out at my in-laws and I'll be wearing my eating pants too. No cooking for me this year-though I did bring a pumpkin cheese bread that I'm sure will be forgotten.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Uncovered Ruby said...

Timi, you just crack me up! I've cooked for Thanksgiving once, and we deep fried our turkey only to figure out that the thermometer wasn't in the bird, it was touching the fryer. By the time we figured it out, the oil was up over 500 degrees. Needless to say, we had a crispy bird that year, and no I havent' hosted again either ;-). Many blessings to you and your family this Thanksgiving! Lisa ;-)

Lisa Johnson said...

Loved this story, Timi and I love the way you think. We alternate Thanksgiving between my folks and Eric's folks and when we have it at Eric's folks I don't have to do a thing. (Great!) When we have it at my folks, I only have to make a couple side dishes so it's not to bad. I think I've only made one turkey in my life and I didn't get plastered before, but that would have been more fun.



Charity Watts said...

Laughing, laughing, laughing...still laughing...

DaniH said...

I am a 40 year old woman, wife and mother of two and I have never made a Thanksgiving dinner. I've helped (prep work, setting the table, clean-up) but I have NEVER cooked a turkey or even made a pumpkin pie. Maybe we need to start some sort of club (or a therapy group)!!! Hope you and yours had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

www.MaisonStGermain.com said...

OMG that is sooo funny:)!!!Our Thanksgiving is usually very interesting too. One year it ended in a fire. Hope your Christmas is wonderful:)
~Debra xxx

Christine said...

That was absolutely hilarious! My attempts have never (miraculously) led to drunkenness - but, I always manage to mess something up. Still, as my dad always says, "at least she tries". Yeah, that's right dad...you tell em!!

Unknown said...

lol...You're a riot! The Sangria sounds yummy. Will have to try it out the next time I want to get out of hosting. =)
Happy New Year!