4 Things you should know about me before you invite me to your house.
1. I’m a picky eater! I don’t like the ends of anything in my food. No pickle ends, no tomato ends, no banana ends, no ends of anything. I also call anything that looks weird in my food “guts” and I usually have a “gut” pile on the side of my plate by the end of my meal. If a family member or The Hubs is with me they all know that the gut pile is up for grabs and will eat whatever is there. If they aren’t present please feel free to reach across and help yourself. I will have an especially large gut pile if we are having some sort of meat. That usually generates a larger then normal gut pile. I have had $100 a plate food that generated a gut pile in the finest restaurants. Don't be offended, it’s not your cooking. It's my weirdness
2. I’m not easily offended. I will however be offended by rudeness. If you invited me please be a hostess. I’m not there to visit with your kids, listen to you yell at your kids, listen to you talk on the phone or watch you text your other friends. That says to me you have more important things to do and visiting with me wasn’t at the top of your list. Why did you invite me?
3. No subject is off limits to me. I’m happy to talk about anything. Sex, menopause, your fabulous life, why Days of Our lives is stupid (I still watch it), latest reality TV viewing, politics, religion, or about your favorite new household cleaning product. I'll even listen polity as you talk about nothing but your kids. I having NO kids and have a hard time relating but I'll gladly listen. I don’t care what we talk about. Just keep in mind………I’m not the brightest crayon in the box so if you are looking for intelligent in depth conversation I’m probably not your girl.
4. I’m self absorbed. If I don’t ask you a lot of questions it’s not because I don’t like you or don’t want to know about you or what you have been up to. It’s because I’m thinking about what I’m going to tell you about myself. I’ll think of things I wish I would have asked you on my ride home. You most likely will get a phone call or e-mail from me later apologizing for being self absorbed and giving you a list of questions I wish I would have asked you.
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