A Girl Named Timi

We Need A New Mattress!

For the last 3 years that The Hubs and I have been married we haven't had a good nights sleep.

Not because we are newlyweds and are having wild freaky monkey sex. No, no, the problems with not sleeping has just been one problem right after another.

First problem:

The Hubs was waking up 3 or 4 times in the night with Franklin biting at his beard, Charlie walking on him, and itching so hard in the bed we thought we had a vibrating bed. The Hubs was getting woke up as well as getting up with Charlie and Franklin 2 or 3 times a night.

FYI about Timi; Once I go to sleep nothing wakes me up! The house could burn down around me. I have been told I snore, but I don't believe it.

This tidbit of information about me only made The Hubs more ticked off. He was only getting about 2 or 3 hours of sleep a night and needing to go to work. Me..no animals bugging me! I was sleeping through the night with no where to go the next day!

We tried various things to get the animals out of the bedroom. The Hubs decided that just having them in the room was better than the barking, pawing at the door, and meowing that sounded like the coyotes where eating a cat during the night. It just wasn't worth it.

So The Hubs goes to the dentist one day. They are chatting and the dentist says "you need to see a specialist about that not sleeping thing." So after a couple months of Sleep Apnea studies and various doctors..........The Hubs finds out all this time he has had Sleep Apnea! Poor guy.

The animals were waking him up because he's not breathing.

Good Dog! Good Kitty!

We get The Hubs all fixed with his "gear" for night and it was amazing. Everyone was sleeping through the night.

So now everyone is sleeping like babies right?

NO WAY! Not at this house

Problem #2

Now we are both complaining about waking up with various aches and pains. The Hubs various aches and pains usually cured with some Advil.

Me......my feet hurt so bad that I can barley stand in the mornings, not to mention the aching pain at night while trying to go to sleep. This has been a problem for years for me but it's just gotten worse now.

So I go to the podiatrist. Diagnosis, Planter Fasciitis, and 7 bones spurs.

Great! So I change shoes, do a little ice, some stretching on my feet and WAHLAH after about 2 or 3 months no more pain.

All is good right?

WRONG!

Problem #3

We are both still waking up with total body aches.

Convinced it's because the animals get in bed with us and are sleeping on us so that we can't move. That must be it. You know how it is when the dog or cat is sleeping on you and you can't move in the night? You wake up stiff and sore from not being able to move.

So one more time! NO MORE animals in the bed!

(that hasn't worked out that well, it's an on going problem. We are both weak!)

Now that my feet have stopped hurting, now it's my neck and shoulders. I can barley move in the mornings and a girl can't live on Advil.

So I start bitchin on a regular basis that we need new pillows.

We go to Macy's and buy $200 worth of new pillows. We got rid of all our fancy expensive goose down pillows because that's the problem.

RIGHT?

WRONG!

So now I'm bitchin everyday that we need a new mattress. We need a Sleep Number Bed, that's what we need!

That will be the answer to all our problems.

If it helped The Bionic Woman it's going to help me!

The conversation went like this..........

Me: I really think we need to get a new mattress. This is crazy, I can't do this anymore. I'm in total pain in the mornings. I really think we should get a Sleep Number bed. It's the answer to all our sleepless nights.

The Hubs: Those beds are expensive! What you need to do is go to the damn doctor and see what your problem is. Chiropractor, massage therapist, general doctor who ever you think you need to see! You need to go. There is something wrong with you.

Me: Whatever!

So, when I was in my doctors appointment last month I mentioned to her my little aliments. She had me do a couple tests, poked around on my shoulders and neck.

Hooked me up with an MRI the next day.

Really? For real? I don't need an MRI, I need a new damn mattress!

The Sleep Number Bed to be exact!

Why doesn't anyone listen to me?

So I go for an MRI, I make an appointment with the specialist and..........

The Hubs looking at my MRI pictures in the specialists office. He was trying to act all official and interested. I'm sure what was going through his mind was.........who is going to cook, wash my underwear, and vacuum?
I have a torn rotator cuff!

Are you freakin kiddin me!

Princess Lazy Ass doesn't do anything! How can this happen?

Apparently I did it last spring while picking up some hanging flower baskets. I remember the popping, and the pain and thinking "that can't be good" I just figured it would mellow out in a few days and be as good as new. Pop a few Advil and all is good.

Just another reason why I shouldn't do yard work! Bad things happen.

Surgery is the only option as it clearly shows in the MRI pictures. I wanted to slap the doctor.

What I really wanted to hear is...............You should buy A fancy Sleep Number Bed and everything will be right in life!



I have never had surgery...ever! I'm freaking out a little bit.

So here is what we have to figure out...................

When do I have 6 months available to have shoulder surgery, heal, recover, and do a little physical therapy???

Who the hell has 6 months to "recover" from surgery on your right shoulder when your right handed? I don't see how this is going to work out.

Surgery will either cut in to our spring and summer camping time or the holidays. Neither are good for me.

So today.................I'm going to the mall to look at Sleep Number Beds. Not only for the house but for the Mobile Estate too! If it's going to be the answer to all my problems I better get all my bases covered.