Friday, January 30, 2009

All I Wanted
Was A Chandelier In The Dining Room!

Yes, one similar to this.
I found one I liked at Faded Elegance in Snohomish. My favorite dealer Mary had one that I like and was very similar to this. I needed to go buy it! She's having 30% off everything in her space and I needed to act fast before it was gone. Snooze ya lose right?
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I know The Hubs called yesterday morning and said "don't spend any money!" I heard him.
I know we are in an economic situation in this country.
I didn't care!
I'm a walking Dr. Phil and Oprah Show remember? I wanted a new chandelier for the dining room, it was on sale and well, that's that!
So here's the story...............
**Note** all pictures used in this post are not from the actual incident. Myself and all items involved in said incident were not available for photos.
I hopped in to my little car
(that looks like this)
and drove myself to Snohomish, parked across the street from Faded Elegance and ran in to buy my new lovely chandelier.
Came out, opened up the passenger side door, set the box with the chandelier in the seat, strapped it in the seat, shut the door.
Oh, you think you know where this story is going don't you?
You don't!
I walked around to the drivers side, opened it, got in, put the keys in the ignition, shut the door, turned to start the car and...
The next thing I knew I was covered in glass. Glass in my lap, glass in my hair, glass all over the inside of the car.
My car window did this
and looked just like this.
Only imagine this photo with me sitting in my blue bug, looking shocked, covered with glass, and freaking out.

So I sat there for a minute trying to decided what to do. I couldn't move I was covered in glass. I reached in to my purse to get my cell phone (what the hell did we do before cell phones???) and I can't get to my phone with out digging through glass. DAMN! Now I'm freaking out for real.
I call The Hubs. No answer. OF COURSE!
So I sit there for a minute and think. What should I do?
I have know idea what to do.
I call 911.
Here's how that went.

911 Operator: 911 What's your emergency?

Me: I have a non emergency (I have friends and relatives in the fire and police field. They told me this is what your suppose to do) I'm in downtown Snohomish and my car window just shattered on top of me. I'm in the car covered in glass

911 Operator: Are you hurt? Do you need an ambulance?

Me: No, I just don't know what to do. I'm sitting here covered in glass, can't move and I don't know what I should do.

911 Operator: Let me transfer you to the Fire Department.

ON HOLD..............

Snohomish Fire Dispatch: What's our emergency?

Me: I'm sitting in downtown Snohomish and my drivers side car window exploded. I'm sitting in my car covered in glass and I don't know what to do.

Fire Dispatch: Are you hurt?

Me: No, I just can't move because I have glass every where.

Fire Dispatch: What would you like me to do?

Me: I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!! I can't get out of my car, I'm covered in glass, if I move it shifts and I'm scared it going to cut me. There is still glass in the window so I can't open the door.

Fire Dispatch: I don't know what to tell you.

OK, now I'm really freaking out. If Fire Dispatch can't help me what the hell?


Fire Dispatch: I'll send an aid car. Where are you?

Me: Downtown Snohomish

Fire Dispatch: Where

Me: In front of Mexican Restaurant and across the street from Faded Elegance and Victorian Station.

Fire Dispatch: I need an address please.

Me: FUCK! I can't see any addresses. If I move all the glass starts falling and shifting

Now I'm pissed and freaking out. Snohomish isn't that big! Those Fire guys now every inch of that downtown area. They could have found me!

Fire Dispatch: Hold Please

Me: NO NO NO........Wait...................I see an address up the 1st street!

Having my glasses on would have been helpful in this situation. It was such a Jan Brady moment for me.

Fire Dispatch: OK, I'm sending an aid car.

We hang up...............I now have lost it!

My cell phone rings...............It's The Hubs

Me: I need you to come home right now! I was in Snohomish buying shit I wasn't suppose to and my car window exploded on me, I'm in the car, I can't move, I'm covered in glass, the fire department can't help me, the dog needs to go out, it flew in my chocolate milk shake I just bought, and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do!

Keep in mind I'm crying, hyperventilating, making no sense and The Hubs is like.....WTF?

****A little Information about me****

I don't normally freak out in a crisis. In fact in our 3 years of marriage I don't think The Hubs has ever seen me freak out and lose it. I'm usually the person you want with you in a crisis. I keep it together, take charge, and handle things. I melt down afterwards when nobody is around.

The Hubs: Get out of the car

Me: I can't, there is glass every where and all over me. I'm scared to move.

The Hubs: It's safety glass, it won't hurt you bad. You should be able to move and get out. It's going to poke you a little but it won't cut you. Just get out of the car. I'm going to stay on the line with you while you get out of the car.

Me: If I move it's going to get glass all over the street


Me: OK

So I slowly get out of the car and stand up.

The Hubs: Are you out?

Me: Yes

The Hubs: Are you OK? Your not hurt?

Me: Yes, I'm OK but I have glass down my pants and my shirt. I can't walk.

The Hubs: Stand there until the aid car gets there. They will help you.

Me: Sobbing OK

The Hubs: I'm going to head to my car now and come home. I will call the insurance and see what to do. You go with the EMT's and call me when your done.

Me: OK

So the Aid Car shows up and the two nicest EMT's come to help me. They walk up, look at the mess, look at me, see that I'm a mess and ask what happen. I tell them and the female EMT immediately grabs me and says "why don't you come with me to the back of the aid car and lets get you cleaned up while he cleans up the seat in your car" So we go back to the aid car, I get the glass out of my pants, out of the back of my shirt, my coat and my hair.
She asks if I'm ok, if I'm going to be ok and we start chatting about what happen. She tells me how that is the weirdest thing she has ever seen and they didn't know what to expect all the dispatch says is "Woman freaking out in downtown Snohomish with glass on her"

I'm thinking to myself...........ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING??? Now I feel like a some crazed psycho that was crying wolf. Great! No wonder they were looking at me all weird.

The Snohomish Fire Department was very very very nice. They helped, they cleaned the glass out of my car seat, took the rest of the glass out of the door, they got me calmed down, and got me so I could at least sit in my car while I waited for someone to come get me or call a tow truck.

Thank you Snohomish Fire Department.

I totally appreciate you helping me and I will vote yes on anything you want! I'll even come to your pancake feed and pay double!

Thank you!

To The Fire Dispatch Operator...............GO TO HELL! Why didn't you tell me that the glass was safety glass and I would be fine!

Now I'm sitting in my car and I call The Hubs. He says he's on his way, he has called the insurance and we need to call AAA and have my car towed to the glass place that is in Everett.

Now I have gone from scared, freaked out, and crying to just pissed off!

I said "HELL NO!" "Feakin Volkswagen is paying for this!"

So I get on the phone with the dealership. They were very nice and said "of course we will replace that" "that is so weird". We will also have your car towed. Where are you?

Thank you Pignataro Volkswagen. You will continue to get my business and I will let everyone know you did right by me with no questions asked.

An hour later a tow truck is there to pick me up courtesy of Volkswagen.

My new Align CenterBFF, knight in shinny armor, Rich from Hansen Towing was super nice and humored me on the long ride to the dealership. Probably so I wouldn't cry.

We played Tow Truck Driver Confessions (this really should be a show!) and he told me stories of the dumbest and most F'd up stuff he's seen in his 24 years of driving tow truck. It was very entertaining.

He also mentioned that The Hubs deserved a metal being married to me.

Yeah whatever Rich!

How could he know this after only 2o minutes in the truck with me???


The Hubs met me at the dealership, unloaded the chandelier from my car, threw my milk shake away (I had just gotten it at Jack in The Box before this all happened and it was going to be damn good! What a waste of a good milk shake)gave me a hug and said........"lets go home"

Damn I love him!

I started leaving Snohomish at 1:30 in the afternoon. I got home at 6:30.

All I wanted................was a new chandelier for the dining room!

Apparently this was the Shit Shopping Gods laying down some bad ass karma on me.

This is just another case of...........I can't make this shit up!


WSU Laura said...

Seriously Timi I think you need your own reality show. LOL. So next blog entry is goiong to be Tow Truck COnfessions...RIGHT?! Glad you are ok.

kal said...

Oh my goodness Timi! I'm so glad your not hurt! I would have freaked out also. Life is one adventure after another I guess.

Coastal Nest. said...

This is what happens when you dis-obeyed your fine husband like that.

I hope you at least gave him a great piece of ass~

Stephanie said...

Oh crap -I think its Karma, im so sorry !!!

Hope your ok and thank goodness the chandelier is ok too!!!
Have a good weekend, it cant get any worse ... can it !

Sue at Serendipity said...

Now that it is over and done with and I have stopped being freaked out and recovered from laughing my ass off, I have to tell you your category is the absolute best!

Seriously, a tv show of your life would be the funniest thing ever and morale in this country would be vastly improved because everyone laughed their asses off!

This tops Thailand and I thought it couldn't be done-glad you are all right!!!

April said...

Shut the front door! OMG! I cannot believe that! Holy cow, girl!!

Laurie Anne said...

At least the chandelier was unharmed hehe
Glad you are okay :0)

pennythequeen/queeniep said...

Ii was so cracking up reading this. Uep, the chandelier gods were after you butt! Dont you hate that. Good luck with the repairs. Im my family we say " no one is pregnant. dying, or in jail, life is good". Mother of 2 boys!!
Keep you chin up!

Linda said...

Holy Crap Timi, what a day. And I thought doing a run to Walmart for household items on a Friday was bad!! LOL Laughing with you not at you, so glad you are ok. Thankful that did not happen as you were driving and cause a wreck. So actually maybe the shopping Gods were watching out after you!
Gees you make my life look dull, all I get to do is try and sell snow, ha!
Glad you got the chandy though!

Maison Douce said...

Okay, Timi, look at the good news... The chandelier was still there and it's yours, now!! You are a walking Oprah show... too funny!!

Barn House said...

I am printing this, framing it and hanging it by the front door as a constant reminder for Joe. "See what will happen if you don't listen!!!"

adozeneggs said...

So did they tell you what happened to the window? Was it like spontaneous combustion or something???
I mean, I'm glad you and your lovely chandelier are ok, but seriously what the hell happened to the window???

Auntie Joy said...

Tell me you got another chocolate milkshake!!! Maybe I need to reread this, I had to get to the end to make sure all was well (the chandelier was unharmed)but why did the window break? I was hoping not a gunshot ...
And who would have guessed window glass wouldn't cut you? My next question for the hubs is.. Why all the blood at an automobile accident?? Explain that!
Seriously, I'm am glad you are okay and that you had a knight in shining armour to come to your rescue.. and I'm not reffering to the tow truck driver!

DivaDeb said...

Ok, just a minute while I pick myself up off the floor....

Timi, you really have a talent for telling a story! I mean, I'm really sorry that your bright shining 'WOW I really found a bargain and I'll just snap it up and take it home so the hubs won't notice' moment got eclipsed by a bizarre drama from out of the blue, but GIRL you can really paint a picture with words!

I am glad you are OK...but the whole time I was reading your story, I was thinking 'But the chandelier - is IT OK?'!!!! ;0)

kath said...

so do you think you could get one of your new friends to come hang that chandelier for you or are you just going to stick with the contractor you know and love? This was a great story.

Marie Reed said...

Woooooooooooooow! I'll be honest here.. when it comes to long post I am a total skimmer... But this had be mesmerized! I read every last word.. Scouts honor! Except that I was never a girl scout but I sure have eaten enough girl scout cookies in my life to swear on them:)

Laurie Anne said...

You should probably get off FB and start blogging again :0)

Halo Hill said...

Sooooooooooo funny, and your hubster is a DOLL!